


lost times

by punchline (orphan_account)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Divorce, Implied Sexual Content, Infidelity, M/M, School Reunion, Sex under influence, Yaoi, all characters besides jun and jihoon are only mentioned, divorced woozi, gay af, smut but it's only two sentences long, the sex and the drinking is legal ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 10:06:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6850333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/punchline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At a high school reunion, Junhui and Jihoon realize that they had missed too much.</p>
<p>(Junhoon oneshot!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	lost times

**Author's Note:**

> a disclaimer of sorts  
> \- I do not own the band Seventeen nor do I own any of the members.  
> \- This is a work of fiction that should not be taken seriously. I trust that we Carats know the difference between what is real from what is fake (we're smarter than that).
> 
> additional notes:  
> \- There is smut, but it is brief.  
> \- Jihoon is divorced here.  
> \- Soonyoung is a great guy but I wanted to fuck him over.  
> \- Junhui subconsciously finds Soonyoung sexy I guess.  
> \- In this AU, gay marriage is legal everywhere. While writing, sometimes I forget that same sex marriage is illegal in SK so I made it legal (but still kind of questionable).  
> 

LOST TIMES

 

And I'm so impatient when you're not mine

I just want to catch up on all the lost times

And I'll say I'm sorry if I sound sordid

'Cause all I really ever want is you

 

 ♡ ♡ ♡

 

Jihoon hears the distant humming of insects as he takes his seat on one of the swings in the playground, a cold bottle of beer settled in between his thighs, numbing them. It was a depressing sight, a man sitting on a swing set too small for his (already small) body as a celebration ensued meters away from him.

He was at his high school reunion, and maybe he would join in on the fun if not for the fact that he was getting beyond exhausted of the constant reintroductions, answering questions his peers already knew the answers to-

_“Oh, I’m a college professor now, haha…You’re a model? Good on you, Jeonghan.”_

_“No, I’m divorced actually. But congratulations on the baby, Seungcheol.”_

_“I’m single, not ready to mingle though, Seungkwan. Please don’t try to set me up with one of your ‘gay friends’, congratulations on the engagement. Let’s hope your marriage doesn’t end like mine. Gotta blast, bye.”_

Sitting on a swing set meant for children, thinking of all the small talk he shared with his _old_ friends inside his _old_ school building made him think about how unhappy he was with his life, and how it was too late to change it.

_“I think you should go.” The words swim around in Jihoon’s head as he ushers his best friend out of his room. He’s slightly breathless, and his lips are swollen, and he feels his heart tremble in his chest. He doesn’t want to look at him, so he focuses his eyes on the floor, on his dirty shoes, and the canvas sneakers of his friend as he sees them leave his peripheral._

 

“Jihoon.” The familiar voice rings in his ears. It was a sound he had heard many times before but it dazed him still. Looking up slowly, he could feel his heart fall to his stomach as he meets the same pair of eyes he sought comfort in so many times in the past.

Countless thoughts were running through his head, too fast for him to grasp and comprehend. Millions of words were tickling his tongue, itching to be said. He doesn’t know what to think; he doesn’t know what to say. So he just settles on saying his name.

“Junhui.”

He sounds slightly desperate.

_Jihoon is in the first grade when he meets Junhui for the first time. In a playground full of loud and sweaty children, the two are the only ones who remain quiet._

_“Hello.”_

_A boy much taller than Jihoon greets him warmly as he sits on the toddler’s swing set. Jihoon notices how the boy’s feet manage to reach the ground while his own hang above the soil. He’s envious already._

_“Can I sit next to you?” the boy had asks. Dazed by the boy and his warm smile and foreign accent, Jihoon only nods his head, mumbling a nearly incoherent yes, unable to produce anymore words._

_“My name is Junhui. Let’s be friends from now on!”_

 “You came.” _I missed you_ , is what Jihoon wants to say.

“I did.” _I missed you,_ is what Junhui wants to say.

 (Junhui sees a speck of hope in the younger’s eyes and suddenly he feels his heart beat faster. _After all this time, you still have an effect on me._ )

           

_They’re in the seventh grade, now. The two were lying in bed together, their fingertips lightly touching as they looked up at the glow in the dark stars pasted on the ceiling of Jihoon’s bedroom, music playing softly in the background. Jihoon is focusing on the stars in his room, slightly green as they glowed in the darkness.  Junhui, on the other hand, is focusing on his small, cute friend, whose eyes glowed brighter than any paste-on star._

_In this moment, he realizes he is in love._

_And with every transition in between songs in the background, Junhui feels his desire to say something grow larger and larger until the feeling consumes him completely._

_Just as he’s about to speak, Jihoon beats him to it._

_"I love this song.” He sighs dreamily, scooting closer to his friend and resting his head in the space between Junhui’s neck and shoulder. The younger’s eyes were closed, blind to the effect he had on his friend._

_**And I love you** , Junhui wants to say_

_**I love you and I love you and I love you.** _

****

“Well,” Jihoon stifles awkwardly, looking for anything to shatter the barrier of silence between them. The two are sitting on the toddler’s swing sets. The same one they used to sit at together as children. But now the two are grown men, professionals, and their knees are awkwardly hitting their chests with every halfhearted movement of the swing

“How are you?”

 

_It’s in the eleventh grade when Jihoon starts dating. And Junhui’s trying his best to smile when all he wants to do is push his friend up against the lockers and kiss the air out of his lungs._

_But somebody beats him to it, and a hand is lightly squeezing Jihoon’s shoulder before the small boy turns and locks eyes with his boyfriend, who quickly leans down to plant a long and gentle kiss on his lips. One hand on his chin, tilting Jihoon’s face upwards, and the other hand on the locker behind his boyfriend, Kwon Soonyoung was doing exactly what Junhui was longing to do moments ago._

_He’s a good boyfriend, Kwon Soonyoung, constantly showering Jihoon with affection, unafraid to kiss his love in the busiest hallway in school even though he was kissing a person of the same sex. In conclusion, he was fearless, loyal, ** ~~sexy~~** ~~,~~ and everything Junhui was not to Jihoon. _

_Junhui decides to not push his friend up against the lockers and kiss the air out of his lungs._

“How are you and Soonyoung?” Junhui asks, ignoring the obvious tan line on his friend’s ring finger. Jihoon’s face falls at the question, the fingers on his opposite hand subconsciously rubbing the spot.

“Things just didn’t work out.”  _What I had with Soonyoung was nothing like what I had with you._

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry.” _I liked what I had with you more, to be honest._

           

_“If I caught feelings for you, how would you react?” the two were lying on Jihoon’s bed again, under the glow in the dark stars, and the once comfortable silence tensed up with the small boy’s body (subconsciously). The words fell out of Junhui’s mouth recklessly, **drunk-ly** \- like an intoxicated driver spinning the steering wheel haphazardly or a lovesick bitter single calling to say I love you to an ex after shots. (Keep in mind that Junhui was not drunk)._

_Jihoon’s face was completely blank, no, not blank, **unreadable** , deep in thought. He licked his lips looking for an answer, finding nothing. “What are you trying to say?”_

_Their faces had gotten closer, unknowingly, and Junhui didn’t know what set him off. Whether it was the way his friend licked his lips as he thought of what to say, or the way his eyelashes fluttered as he blinked in confusion. (Truth: at that point, anything would have set Junhui off. He was a bomb, and Lee Jihoon was the detonator)._

_For the millionth time, Junhui wants to kiss Jihoon._

_For the first time, he does._

_And as Jihoon’s ushering his friend out of his room silently, his feels his stomach sink a little at the fact that his own boyfriend’s kisses didn’t make his chest tighten the way his friend’s did. He feels his stomach sink down further when he realizes that he wouldn’t be seeing much of said friend anymore._

Once youthful and hopeful and _dumb_ , Junhui and Jihoon tried to take on the universe that seemed to be fighting against them. But the universe had won, and the two found themselves sitting at tables on opposite sides of the room, avoiding eye contact if it ever made itself a problem. Now here they are, a professor and a lawyer, older and less hopeful but still kind of dumb, the two men sit together awkwardly at a swing set too small for them, thinking about what they could have been.

“Do you think-” Junhui begins, feeling his friend’s gaze on him as the younger responded with a soft _hm_ of acknowledgement.

“Do you think that if things were different, like if the circumstances were different, we could have, you know, ended up together?”

Jihoon shrugs in response, but he knows the answer.

 

_It’s two weeks before their graduation, and they find themselves at a party. What was originally titled ‘a hangout’ thrown by Choi Seungcheol turned into a sweaty, booze-y house-party. And after Junhui downs enough shots and beers to satisfy his alcohol craving for the next ten years or so, he finds himself with Jihoon. He was sure he was drunk at that point, and he was sure his former friend was as well, because he knew that the two would never be able to look at the other sober._

_But there they were, Jihoon standing comfortably between Junhui’s legs as the older leaned his back against the wall, fingertips running lightly over the elder’s chest, looking up at him with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. Junhui’s enjoying this, and he wishes he were sober enough to remember what was happening (but still drunk enough to not feel guilty;_

_he subconsciously realizes he’s asking for too much)._

_This time, it’s Jihoon who kisses him._

_But Junhui’s the one who wraps the younger’s legs around his waist and carries him to the nearest unoccupied bedroom._

(Jihoon feels a bit guilty in those moments, when he suddenly brings the point up in his mind that _Soonyoung isn’t at the party_.)

Jihoon breaks the silence after what seems like a lifetime. “I think things could have been different. In another universe, maybe things would have gone our way. In another universe, maybe we could have been together.”

Junhui’s chest tightens at the words, _in another universe_. He plays it off cool, repeating the words, “In another universe, yeah.”

“The universe is against us, Junhui.”

_Jihoon looks perfect like this- fringe sticking to his forehead with sweat, eyes half lidded, and cheeks flushed as he’s moaning, begging for Junhui’s touch. He’s arching his back overwhelmed by the sensations, and bucking his hips in search for friction. And Junhui gives him just that, as he hooks the younger’s leg on his shoulder and thrusts into him at such a merciless pace that the younger’s grip on his biceps tighten, and he knows he’s doing the right thing._

In another universe, Jihoon could be his, and they could be together- two boring adults with mundane jobs, watching dramas together on _their_ television, cuddling on _their_ bed, in _their_ home. Two boring adults with mundane jobs but everything would be a rush to him if he were with Jihoon.

Junhui could visualize it.

 

_Lost in the drunken aftercare and cuddling, Junhui allows himself to get lost in his personal fantasy that boy in his arms was his, and this was just like any other night. And that Soonyoung, Jihoon’s fearless, loyal ~~, and sexy~~ boyfriend, didn’t exist._

The words fall from Jihoon’s lips and crash onto the floor,

**_"The universe is against us, Junhui.”_** _What a beautifully ugly thing to say. What a stupid, pretentious thing to say._ Jihoon continues despite that.

“The universe is against us, but I don’t give a shit. And I miss you, okay?” he sounds frustrated and desperate, and his eyes say the same thing as they look away from him to focus on the ground. The small boy’s nails are digging themselves into his jeans, and he’s nervous.

_Jihoon doesn’t give a shit_. He doesn’t give a shit if he’s twenty nine years old and that the love he’s looking for was the love he found when he was sixteen. He doesn’t give a shit if he’s not supposed to want to be with his former best friend. He doesn’t give a shit if he’s divorced, or if Junhui’s married. He doesn’t give a shit and he’s _tired_ of the life he’s living.

Jihoon clears his throat after slow seconds of silence, his voice ringing in the air like the bells he used to hear when he was a student, “Do you still like me?”

“How long have you missed me?” Junhui asks in response, overwhelmed by his friend’s sudden confession.                                                        

“Ever since.”

“No,”

“Yes.”

“Shit, Jihoon, I’ve missed you for so long. And I stopped talking to you thinking you didn’t want to see me anymore and _shit_. You’ve missed me the whole fucking time. Jihoon, _what the fuck?_ ” he sounds frustrated and desperate as well, and he is. He’s punctuating his sentences with profanities, and he’s exhausted, because what the two had to go through was completely avoidable.

“I’m sorry.” Jihoon apologized and Junhui knew he should have stopped there, but the words continued to fly out of his mouth thoughtlessly as his heart got the best of him.

“We’re not in high school anymore, Jihoon. We’re getting old. We’re pushing thirty now.” Junhui realized- the two had every opportunity to be with the other, but they walked passed every sign like it was nothing.

“I’m sorry.”

“What do you mean you’re sorry? Look at us, Jihoon, we’ve missed so much of each other’s lives! We weren’t there for each other when we clearly could have been and I love you so much and we can’t change-”

“I love you too.”

“What?” _I love you._

“I love you.” There’s a certainty in his tone, like he’s known it for the longest time. But for _how long?_

“You love me?” _I love you too._

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” _I love you a lot._

Silence washed over them in waves along with the realization that Junhui was right. They’ve missed too much. They’ve lived for ten years without the other. They missed ten years of love, and cuddles, and dates, and sex.

“We’ve missed so much of each other’s lives, Jun…

“We’ve missed college, we’ve missed graduations; we’ve missed birthdays…

“We’ve lost so much time together, Jun, so much time- our entire twenties.”  Regret flooded his bloodstream and made its way to his reddening cheeks.

_“I would have loved to spend my twenties with you.”_ Junhui is calmer now than the skepticism and regret he was feeling a minute ago was turning into something else as he was turning to face Jihoon and _shit, he’s so beautiful_.

_So damn beautiful._

Leaning in (and not even realizing he was cupping the younger’s cheek), Junhui’s mind was flooded by memories of youth, both happy and sad. And all the scraped knees, all the mean teachers, and all the awkward dances and dates that sunk in his mind resurfaced in those moments. _Things have changed_ ; they have both changed. He’s now a lawyer, with not so much passion, and not so much ambition. But when he looks into Jihoon’s widened eyes, he’s not a lawyer; he’s seventeen and awkward and so in love it’s disgusting.

“I really want to kiss you.” He says, eyes flickering toward the younger’s lips.

“Then go for it.”

With that, he leans in slowly and closes the small gap between their lips. The kiss they share is unlike any of the ones they have shared in the past- it’s not full of passion or lust (and neither of them are drunk or in a relationship).

They’re here, and on each other’s lips they taste _certainty_ , _sureness_ , along with something else that makes their stomachs stir and their hands tremble.

They like to call it love.

And it’s the sweetest thing either one of them had ever tasted.

 

♡ ♡ ♡

 

The two men wake up to each other in bed, Jihoon fit snugly in the elder’s arms, with his head nuzzled in the elder’s bare chest, taking comfort in the way it expanded with his every breath, and how it slightly hitched with every heartbeat. He looks up at his lover with fondness, taking in every feature and freckle and scar that made Wen Junhui _Wen Junhui_.

Feeling the pace of the elder’s heartbeat quicken, Jihoon watches Junhui’s eye’s flutter open as he stirs awake, licking his swollen and chapped lips.

“You’re awake.” He feels a smile creep up to his face as he’s reminded of the night they spent together drunk in their senior year. That morning, Junhui woke up to a pounding headache, half naked in Choi Seungcheol’s bed with no trace of the younger. So seeing the younger’s body intertwined with his, brought life to the domestic daydreams he had of Jihoon.

“Let’s live our twenties together.” The younger smiles, looking up at Junhui at his most unflattering angle (He’s still beautiful).

“In our thirties?”

“Yes,” the smile that adorned the face of his lover was contagious,

_“Let’s live our twenties in our thirties.”_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> \- Soonhoon is dying and Junhoon is rising; Junhoon is the new supreme (i love both ships with all my heart ok)  
> \- I was somewhat inspired by the song Hourglass by Catfish and the Bottlemen (a portion of it at least) and I recommend you to listen to it if you have the time (I assume you have time since you're reading fanfiction).  
> \- This used to be a soonhoon fic but i made it a junhoon fic bc junhoon doesnt get enough love. I published an excerpt of the original story entitled 'don't you see me? (i think i'm falling).


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